If Chuck Norris Were a Worksite Wellness Manager

Posted by Lisa Stovall on Mon, Jun, 03, 2013

Chuck NorrisEverybody knows that Chuck Norris is invincible, right? There is nothing that Chuck Norris can't do. And there's a good chance that you've heard a few jokes like: His strength makes Superman look like a wimp. He carved Mt. Rushmore with his teeth. He’s counted to infinity - three times. He doesn't wear a watch because he simply decides what time it is. He can even slam a revolving door.

With all of these incredible talents in mind, what would happen if Chuck Norris were a Worksite Wellness Manager? Well, this week we're having a little fun and sharing 10 possibilities. I warn you this won't make you any smarter but hopefully it should make you laugh.

  1. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to track participation rates. His are always 100 percent.
  2. Senior Leadership buy-in is never a problem. He stares them down until he gets the approval he wants.
  3. Chuck Norris doesn't target health risks, he pummels them.
  4. Chuck Norris does not need to ask his employees what they want. They voluntarily send it to him.
  5. Chuck Norris can set up a wellness portal in under a second - just by looking at it.
  6. Chuck Norris once developed a wellness challenge and it got over one million participants before it even started.
  7. Chuck Norris doesn't need a communication plan. Employee engagement just happens.
  8. Chuck Norris never uses a wellness strategy. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
  9. Chuck Norris gets a bigger budget with a single roundhouse kick.
  10. His worksite wellness program had a 100% ROI. On the first day.

What else would Chuck Norris do as a wellness expert? The correct answer is "whatever he wants" but we'd love to hear your favorite Chuck Norris joke anyway.

P.S. If you don’t comment, Chuck Norris will know.

Image Credit: JD Hancock

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Topics: Wellness at Work


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